faith

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~ Hebrews 11:1

I still remember the evening I received the call telling me my goddaughter Erensia (which means heritage in Chamorro) had passed away. The week before, her mother Kathy and I were planning her 2 year old birthday party. It was going to be a pool party at her father’s home in Santa Rita. I was so excited to make the party favors. That Friday evening, I had just finished making the party bags when my phone rang.

"Hello Kat," I said. "What’s going on?"

Her voice cracking, she said, "Please come to the hospital. Erensia died."

"What happened?" I replied in a frantic voice. We didn’t go into details then. I just hung up and yelled for my husband!

When we arrived in the viewing room at the hospital, my heart was filled with enormous pain when I saw Erensia’s tiny lifeless body. I hugged Kathy like I’d never let go. She couldn’t talk. All she could do was whisper, "God has taken Erensia back home."

I was very surprised at how calm and at peace Kathy was. I was so mad at God! During the funeral, Kathy remained the same: calm, peaceful, and reassured. I felt like she was comforting us. It took me almost a month to realize it was Kathy’s faith in God that made her calm. This is when I started to question my faith. I started reading passages from Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life and found myself reflecting, praying, and seeing life more clearly.

Now every time I think of Erensia, I remember reading that in God’s eyes the greatest heroes of faith are not those who achieve prosperity, success or power in this life, but those who treat this life as a temporary assignment and serve faithfully, expecting their promised reward in eternity. Then I pray, "Dear Lord, Thank you for the many blessings you have given me in this life, for the family and gifts that surround me everyday. Forgive me, Father God, when I doubt your works or when I am angry, for I am a sinner that is still in need of your guidance. Comfort me through your forgiveness and grace and strengthen in me in your Faith." Amen.

~ Rayla Ferrara